(Back in early October 2009)

Was hurrying down the road to take a bus to Chinatown photo printing shop.

Popped up a Punjabi guy smiling and smizing in front of me saying "very lucky face" (with a Punjabi accent). I said "Sorry?". He said the same thing to me "Very lucky face." Smiling and smizing. I was thinking "what is this? another scam?"

He granted me some cards listed some, around 10 plus wishes asking me to choose 3 wishes.

I could barely remember,

1) peace of mind
2) peace of don't know what...
3) something like good health

of course, the list also offered me 'rich' and luxurious options.

all i need is to be happy, peace in my life, good health.

gave him my so-called lucky number and he did some 'calculations'.

he was telling me some stuff which i think he would ask me money and he did.

Asking for some 'donations'

i gave him. $20-30++..

He told me i have 3 good news in november and he also told me the bad habits i have.

The bad habits

1) worrying too much
2) skipping temple!

Oh my gosh!!!!!

I couldn't accept that he told me i have been skipping temple which is church!!!

When he told me this i felt into his 'trap'.

I felt so guilty!

I paid him some $20-30 earlier yet he asked for more saying he needed it to do some prayer and buy some coconut for the prayer.

Well, i did pay him around $10+.

He demanded more.

I had a feeling that he was 'real'.

this time round i did not pay him in dollar instead i gave him some ringgit around Rm20-30 just to cover his living.

i said i got no more money. then he accepted it and after paying him, he left down the street.

I felt so stupid and i wondered that was the stupidest thing i have ever done in my life!


Things started to happen lately. so far two stuffs i think quite true!


1) first good news related to heavier obligation
2) second one i think which was a chance to get back my money to whom i have borrowed by knowing that the person still alive!
3) ........... (unknown yet)


Good news?

how did he know that i was skipping the temple?

it has never been this stressful before.

my mind would cramp and would hang for a moment.

I need to get my F5 button to refresh my mind for a second to retrieve the information needed.

Those who can really survive in this everyday-a-new-day would be much more stronger.

The pressure comes from three way!

Let us get to know some formula:

Pressure= Force/ Area

* since the pressure is from three ways thus : 3 X F= 3F

* thus,
Pressure = 3Force/ Area

* Assume Area= capability of one to handle stress is constant.

Thus you can see how much the pressure varies according to the magnitude of Force where Area is supposed to be constant.

In addition, Force is a variable. This resulting the unit of pressure is INFINITE!

--------------------------------end of formula illustration---------------------------------------

Well, every cloud has a silver lining.

First of all, i have never thought that i would get myself to be in it.

Under no option i have chosen this option.

This is where people from all walks of life is coming your way and your duty is to PLEASED THEM at the same time locking sales to protect the company's interest.

the main objective of business = increase shareholder (s)' wealth.

At the same time there are a lot of undocumented dos and don'ts that you need to know so that you won't burn your ass.

Need to be people's people. Need to talk wisely so as to please people at the same time giving them a tight slap!

This is the time to dive in this pool and swim as hard as possible so i won't drown.

Breathe in...

1, 2, 3

JUMP!!!

Was browsing JasonGan's blog and found there was a link to Tony Fernandes blog page.

This is indeed a successful company. I always like to see something that starts from zero to hero. DRAMA!

Scrolling down the page and came to Yasmin Ahmad Tribute page of the blog.

A video that has been on youtube for quite sometime produced by Malaysian celebrities.

'HERE IN MY HOME'
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This time round i watched it again.

The lyrics gave me some warmth that i would never get from here.

"We the rakyat la" gave me a sense of belonging that i never appreciate before this.

I used to lead the school in singing national anthem every Monday back in secondary school, yet i did not show my patriotism as now i would feel towards Singapore.

I was thinking if I were Singaporean, I would love Singapore more and even more. How stupid.

I didn't realise that my country is my real HOME until i watch the video again though i have watched many time before this.

I don't know how to explain my stupidity to you guys.

We should put OUR energy to work and not fight.

Eventually the Rakyat would be the victim.

We need a promising constitution and body to work under it!

Satu Suara Satu Malaysia!

Sehati dan Sejiwa!

Just busying kacau-ing people on msn, suddenly my old friend (not too old) popped-up and asked me some microeconomics question.

I went totally blank and have no idea what it was!

TING TING!!!! (bulb lighted up)

WIKIPEDIA!!!!!

Well, i didn't know that wikipedia is not recognised by academician in Singapore, well, i think the rest of the world. it is some kind of free to self-express guided by some materials or personal opinion, where the information is yet to be proved correct according to existing theories or laws in whatever fields of studies.

We (the local uni undergraduates) have been using the wikipedia as our main reference and misuse it at the same time by copy-and-paste the information in this portal to our papers.

Well, back to my friend's question.

The first source i thought of was wikipedia (AGAIN???!!!) and i got some insight of what the question is asking with some clue given by my friend.

Economics is so full of ASSUMPTIONS!!! again and again...i didn't really understand how to answer the question in an intellectual way. In the first place, i didn't really studied during my uni period.the lessons was so brief and too many things to know.so little time- 14 weeks!)

by refering to some 'academic material' (wikipedia) in order to help my friend, i so wanted to go back to study (running away from the truth- work life!)

i was not good in study and i was never a valedictorian. just throwing myself in academic filed is gona take my life way.

I am trying to hold on and don't wana let go unless im being kicked out.lol

Still looking forward to get a real stable situation over here.

I hope i am free to explore which ever field that i wanted to try.

I think should manage my financial matter WISELY.

Have to have a healthier income statement.

What do you enjoy the most when you listen to songs?

The singers melodious yet powerful vocal or the instruments backing up the singer?

I don't know. I would always go for both.

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Have been thinking again.

how can such a great and multi-tasking individual can just leave?

i don't know if to a better future, or it was too frustrated.

not for me to justify.

all i could do is my best to cover my own ass.

more and more to do and to polish my skills ( i am getting worst and worst for no reason -memory)

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all i would always loved to listen to is melancholic music.

it goes to the lowest point and promises some empty hope, in the end the ending point is so damn low.

ups and downs.

what can you see???

OUR LIFE!

Half of our life is gone now. shit...damn scary...what should we do??

work work and work???!!!


DAMN IT!!!

WTF and WTH would be a norm in everyone's daily conversation.

I'm gona play it rough and dirty.

No face to give others.

Worst come to worst, this is dirty already...who are you to complain that i'm dirty in this game?

You are not even in the position to say a word on me 'cos you are as dirty as me.

what is not dirty? even money is also dirty.

don't you think so???

gosh!

I really couldn't imagine how time flies.

from 10am...3pm...7pm...10pm..

i don't feel it.

at last everything is settled and i am no more illegal.

it has been a long long LONG month though it has been exactly for 60 days.

I won't forget this 60-DAYS...

Check List

i) Medical Check Up (CHECKED)
ii) Medical Insurance Coverage (CHECKED)
iii) Workmen Injury Compensation (CHECKED)
iv) Issuance of S-Pass (CHECKED)
v) Boss not firing me (NOT CHECKED)

After all, this is only a job. NOT MY LIFE!

Running wild this weekend!!!

Expecting Bak Kut Teh Trip in Nov...lol

Well, i don't think i dare eat after i saw that stupid video.

Hallelujah for the whole damn week!!!

i shall never give up on myself.

this is the highest point that i have pressed myself to go.

never before i have reached this limit.

now i am responsible for other people, not myself anymore.

the word IRRESPONSIBLE really brought me down.

as if the world is pointing to you and BLAME you for all you have been.

the hard work which doesn't guarantee the result wanted.

the expectation is damn blur.

I don't know how to position myself.

I don't know if the step i take is the appropriate way which was expected.

the word IRRESPONSIBLE is ringing in my ear every second.

the word IRRESPONSIBLE is pushing me beyond to where i have been

the word IRRESPONSIBLE has made me so small

the word IRRESPONSIBLE made me live in fear

the word IRRESPONSIBLE put me restless everyday

the word IRRESPONSIBLE downgraded my capability

still, the word IRRESPONSIBLE is ringing in my ear

IRRESPONSIBLE

it is time to say good morning...but due overusage of brain and overdosage of caffeine, i am very very tired yet i could not sleep.

few more hours of sleep before im dozing off with another cup of caffeine rich drink.

i think there is some way to escape this paranoia condition.

Just do everything in the way that we feel it is right. well, im thinking about the undefined policy.

suddenly im thinking if this is call 'street smart'. you could be street smart if you are acting on your own and for your own interest. however, you are so paralysed should you be responsible for the organizations interest yet it is so undefined your role. your street smart wouldn't be so smart after all.

well, even when we were in school we were taught about DISCIPLINE! Why cant these people, whom are working adult understand their position and be responsible and be discipline?

still finding a book to read to fill my mind with something.

so tired. thinking to change and wana take some action!

AGAIN!!! the procedures needed to follow on.

have to consider working day. have to prepare black and white...calling to ICA and MOM has given me enough headache. so unhelpful. was talking to few staffs before this over the phone from ICA and MOM. i know if i ask few more questions, they are going to blown up! ka BOOMMM!!! their tone has changed as if im asking too many questions.

afterall, who so free going to complaint by going thro the working-days and black and white procedures? i think the ICA and MOM staff wont give it a damn also.

headache the whole week.

the worst of all weeks that have been?

People blaming you for not fulfilling their low budget.

People blaming you for not knowing what to do, where you were not informed the procedures.

People blaming you for not being firm with people.

People blaming you for not being gentle with people.

People blaming you for not acting in the best interest of the company where the policy is not well-defined.

People blaming you because you trying to act in the best interest of the company.

People blaming you for not able to act in the best interest of the people because it is so not organised.

People blaming you for not knowing the reason.

People blaming you for rushing them to be on time.

People blaming you for following company's policy.

People blaming you for not taking charge of our own people.

People blaming you for ugly people.

People blaming you yet we were not trained and briefed.

People blaming you for everything.

oh my gosh!!!! I need my card reader!!!!!!!!

stupid shops and busy busy schedule!!!!!

have been feeling today is only monday.

apparently time flies...tomorrow thursday...and friday is approaching in no time...

another weekend emerging!!!

Well, this weekend is so IMPORTANT!

Another decision need to be made.

the obligations i need to consider...the journey that i would continue after this weekend.

trying the very best now.

bosses are happy if we are giving 100% to our job...but they want more!!!!

150% or 200%!!!!

learning new things and gain experience? this is what that matters.

Are you going to tell people that when you are 25 to 30 years that you are coming out to learn new things and gain experience?

All this while, what do i have?

Sales experience (s)????

What other things i can do???

sleep...bullshitting...eat...(what else???)

turning point or just a checkpoint???

Lately was running errand for work stuff and personal stuff.

Work is always new everyday though the methodology is almost the same, yet my mind still can't contain the stuff i'm supposed to get it under my fingertips. FORGET, FORGET and FORGET!!!

Asked for methods to improve my memory, or at least i wont forget the to-do-list. There were a few. Have tried...results? ok la...

Would like to meet my friends for dinner everyday, but we are too far. By the time i reached, it would be late. I would need time to travel back my place. I would call it a day by 12am.

I need to be prepared early, EVERYDAY!

Be prepared to face the day. Sometimes i feel that i'm in a paranoid state.

Have to execute the 4R Alanic principles. Recollect-Redefine-Restructure-Reorganise

It takes time to execute at the same time juggling with the never-ending phone calls and emails.

In fact, from my friend's experience, this is the nature of it.

Spent till a hole in my pocket last month because it has been quite some time i need to get this gadget for my developing interest. Has been shooting a lot.

Need to master the skills of balancing the lighting, angle, colour, and everything to produce a nice shot. HELLO!!! this is no watever DSLR. Just a normal t90.

I would like to learn on the basic before jumping to another level, which is the dslr for beginner.

The reasons i don't want to get a dslr was due to its bulky-size. I don't want to carry it everyday (without knowing when I need to use it) in my bag. With this slim and pocket-size cam, I can easily slide it inside my skinny pocket and take it out when i need it. ( I did some research and asked the professional people-even read it from Kenny Sia)

OKOK...ignore me...after all, for convenience sake lor...i don't want to look like a sakai hanging a dslr around my neck without knowing how to operate. as if I am going to drive F1 cars while im not so good in driving. (kiasu)

Has been walking around town with a few of my uum friends. Enjoying the skyline of Singapore. Enjoying the night view of Singapore. I hope they could see the stuff going on like i was brought around by my friends when i first came here. Needed some sacrifice. WALK, WALK and WALK!

Ultimately, five-day week is long enough before i could feel again the holy breath.

(Pics coming soon!)

Rolled and curled up in the bed in the 18 degree Celsius room. Covered with the dark blue comforter. My mind was fresh. Thanks to the 3 hours sleep in this afternoon. Can't think of any plans, well, ended up in the bed.

Had a BIG bowl of laksa with a friend, but by midnight, my stomach was crying for food.

Always the emergency food, instant noodle. Maggi curry with an egg.

It was too boring to eat without watching TV. Channel 8 had a wonderful movie, but i only managed to catch the almost ending part of the movie.

A group of 1950s young teenage children. From their attire, could notice they were under the English education. A love story. A young boy and a young girl.

So sweet. =)

One of my friend is getting married. Had his wedding dinner today. Think he is drunk like dead cat when I'm writing this. (Correct ah Raymond???waiting for your update hor =))

Sipping my hot chocolate after my noodle. Think is almost time for me to jump to my bed...before the DAY starts.

So anxious waiting for the day to come. Queuing in lines according to the alphabetical order. Marching in to the great hall with the band working on their instruments to welcome the graduates. Marching in with the blue robe with a white lining on it.

Ohh my..what will happen then???

Still need to work out some plans for the whole 3 days trip.

WOW!!! I was in the office on Tuesday after the raya weekend break, and today is saturday. What have i done from Wednesday to Friday???

As if the three days has gone to nowhere.

Been a big spender this month.

Damn it! Account is heading south.

Still waiting for an answer. I want a little bit of assurance.

I'm running in wilderness.

No other thing i could do, except waiting.

Worst come to worst...balik kampung!!!

Thus enjoy to the MAX this month.

day by day...people wanted to know what my feeling is towards the things im doing right now. i like it. i would sacrifice my time. However, all this giving me a feeling that though we work hard, the return might not be the same. Read Who Moved My Cheese today and thinking it was a brief one. The moral of the story was, simple- Do not be afraid of change!

I was and always have. Everyday full of worries. We don't need that. Fearing i made a mistake in clearing schedule. Fearing people don't get their schedules. Fearing a lot of things that not supposed to fear of.

The path I'm taking now give me a sense of security. This is in material terms, the dollar!

There are too many stuff that we have ignored in life. We realised but we just don't give it a damn!

Regrets accumulating day by day. Fearing when the day comes, I am the one being left alone- remembering the first become last and last become first principle.

so many literature has been written and was jotted down since 2000+ years ago. all we really need to do is to give an honour.

this is truly a blessing, which i believe whatever i'm going through right now has been planned so well, and there is no mistake from the way i was supposed to be. I am truly stupid for letting small matters to break the bondage, again and again- all done by myself.

if it were to justify, im the one who will bear the responsibility solely!

regret is eating away the bondage. day by day it is getting weaker by the stupid thinking that our mind ignited.

all i need to do is to get myself busier by doing more of the work-the work for eternity!

everyday we are doing more and more, disappointing the Almighty.

there are too many things to take care especially human. people are smart. sometime we are so trapped in our own world as if the whole world operates within the boundaries of our knowledge.

making the world a better place? if so, the rocket missiles wouldn't be blasting the innocent lands.

people are too complicated. we would rather be the one listening, rather than the one speaking.

every pitch created supposed to praise the almighty, somehow, swearing and vulgarity are enriching our conversations.

lately i'm not thinking and i think that is not a good sign. i become stupid. i realised i am changing to another person. i realised im so different from the one i used to be few years back. to good or bad, i'm not sure at all.

everyday just dun feel like to think of anything.

i'm reading books with my eyes moving from line to line without understanding.

i don't think i'm in good state now anyway.


"Must achieve the purpose and bring some impact to the other people"
M.C.Shing (12 Sept 2009)

I still remember every time the Ninth God Festival, i so wanted to go to the temple and watch the opera show. The freshly-steamed pinkish tortoise-like bun with paste filling. Joining the crowd.I always like to see the crowd rushing to offer their offerings to the gods in the temple.

What captures me the most is the opera. The opera was said by older people,like my aunt, is performed for the spirits. I duno la. So many uncle and aunties sitting there. Are they the spirits?

Cannot run away from the dessert stalls that are behind the temple. Heavenly!

I still remembered there was a character with long, black beard one scared me so much when i was young.

As time goes by, the culture will loss its identity shall it not well taken care.

visit: http://mok112.multiply.com/

Everybody was born by parents and was loved when was young (differ from case to case).

We should treat everyone with respect, i mean mutual respect!

We should try our best to do the best for the people who are in our team, our organisation.

This gives mutual benefits, provided there is mutual understanding between each other.

I'm willing to sacrifice, willing to do much more, willing to do all.

I'm hoping only a future. Goal achievement. Goal realisation.

Hours like seconds ticks away. Day by day, and week by week. Month by month.

Cherish and be better and better each day!

In a new world. What does it promise? Life or Money?

I believe this was the opened door, which i supposed to walk in and i did.

I believe this was to prepare me for the next battle, promising a return.

Before the return, I need to reach out.

I'm bounding myself. Im going futher. Im departing.

What to make it closer?

Discipline. Faithfulness. Hear more, Listen more, Understand more, Think more, Ponder more!

Too tired, sometime too tired. any cure for tiredness?

So empty, it is too empty. anything to fill up the emptiness?

Time flies, and what is the strategic plan?

3 years. 5 years. 10 years.

Vision and Mission.

SWOT?

TOWS?

Achievements?


Was this an answer for my doubts?

...Heal my heart and make it clean Open up my eyes to the things unseen Show me how to love like You have loved me Break my heart for what breaks Yours Everything I am for Your Kingdom's Cause As I walk from earth into eternity ..wish i can shout it out...

Arthur Lee T. L (1 Sept 2009: 2306hours)